Part 2: Unexpected Surprises
By Leah Taylor
Catch up on Part 1 of Leah’s story here!
Two weeks had passed and I was eagerly awaiting my blood test results.
My nurse called with the results – a big fat negative.
What! How could this be? Wasn’t this supposed to work? I did everything I was asked, I took the meds at the right time, I always took the right dose… what could possibly have gone wrong?
I spent the next few days agonising over why things didn’t work. After a while though, I picked myself up and thought to myself, never mind, I’ll let this one go and focus on the next.
This same exact process happened another five times.
I was starting to lose hope.
Our dream of a baby was slipping further and further away from me with each negative result and all I could do was take the time to deal with the disappointment, put it behind me and focus on the next one.
Cycle number six came along. I took the meds, I grew some eggs and I had the insemination as I had done five times before. But this time it was different. This time my blood test was a positive! I was over the moon, and it made the heartache of the last five cycles just disappear from my mind.
Heading into my seven-week scan I felt very positive.
Then I heard the scan lady say, ‘I’m so sorry, your baby isn’t measuring what it should at this stage, and the heartrate is only half of what it should be.’ In my mind, I was still thinking positively, ‘that’s not so bad, it will catch up, surely’. The scan lady said, ‘you will have to go back to your doctor with the results and he will discuss things with you.’
All I heard was expect miscarriage.
How did I end up here? This wasn’t how things were meant to go. My baby was in there, surely it wasn’t going to die. I left the doctors sobbing like I’d never sobbed before. Weeks went by and my precious little baby was still growing. My stomach was starting to look a little bloated and I thought this baby is going to prove all these doctors wrong!
Then I started bleeding. Over the coming hours I would see my little ball of baby cells expelled from my body. I was 12 weeks pregnant.
Miscarriage is an experience no women should ever have to go through and something I’ll never, ever forget.
After I took some time to process losing our first baby, we were ready to jump back in and start the whole treatment again.
Cycle number seven: negative.
Going into cycle number eight I had almost lost hope. I told my husband that it was the last time I would do it. ‘If it doesn’t work, I’m going to move onto IVF,’ I told him. At least that way it would increase our chances… surely.
I was dreading that blood test result phone call, but it came with an amazing surprise – I was pregnant! But the positive news also came with the fear of a repeat of the last time.
Thankfully, that didn’t happen, and the next nine months were the most wonderful nine months of my life. I absolutely loved being pregnant. My pregnancy was quite easy, and after a four-hour labour I gave birth to a beautiful little boy. He was just amazing and I couldn’t believe I had made it that far. It was so surreal. I was finally somebody’s Mum!
A few minutes later I was pulled off Cloud Nine by the doctor standing over me, telling me, ‘we just want to have a look at your son. His testicles don’t look quite normal and we may have to take him for a scan.’
Seriously, how could this be happening? This is meant to be the best day of my life and you’re telling me bad luck has decided to just rip the happiness away from under me? As they took my little baby away, all I could do was hold my breath and hope that he was going to be okay. After what felt like a life-time, my little man was back in my arms where he belonged.
And then came the news that he would need surgery. At just eight-weeks-old he had surgery, which brought a whole new level of emotions.
Today, he’s a happy, healthy little five-year-old dreaming of a sibling…
Leah is the mummy to a beautiful little miracle and second baby-mama to be. Keep your eyes peeled on our blog for the next installment of Leah’s journey!
Part 1: Fertility
Part 2: Unexpected Surprises
Part 3: Making A Sibling
Part 4: Not Giving Up